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Subject: Sports (Page 12)

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

Frank Chadwick

professional hockey referee

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Dennis Miller

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

Football Sports Detroit Lions Losing

Could he run? Are you kidding? He had more moves than Mayflower Van Lines.

Charlie Teague

Tennessee football player

Football Sports Describing a running back

That is because I don't have one.

Fran Tarkenton

American football player

Football Sports Muscles On how he never pulled a muscle during his career

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

Henry Longhurst

British golf writer & commentator

Golf Sports

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Ted Green

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After Shawn Van Allen sustained a concussion and could not remember who he was

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

Randall “Tex” Cobb

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Boxing Occupations Sports Work

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

Joe Garagiola

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

Baseball Sports Chicago Cubs

Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.

Jerry Coleman

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Dariene Stander

Boxing Sports On her husband Ron's defeat by Joe Frazier

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Jim Bishop

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author

Golf Sports

They write more books.

Darrell Royal

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach

Football Sports On how current players differ than players from the old days

To say a good defensive center is more important than a high-scoring forward is like saying that the intestinal tract is more vital than the circulatory system.

Tetford Taylor

American basketball player

Basketball Sports

… another dropped out when diarrhea slowed him to the point of elimination.

James Richardson

Cycling commentator

Misspokements Sports Cycling On the Tour de France

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

Jerry Coleman

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Baseball Misspokements Sports

Ernie Irvan could go bear hunting with a switch. He ain't never afraid.

Buddy Baker

American auto racer

Auto racing Emotions Fear Sports Ernie Irvan

I can do my sport no greater service.

Randall “Tex” Cobb

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Boxing Sports After being told that commentator Howard Cosell had hung up his mic after being so appalled at the one-sidedness of the Holmes-Cobb fight

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

Buddy Hackett

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor

Golf Sports

We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass.

Brian Clough

English football player & manager

Sports Soccer

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Fat Golf Sports

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.

Mark Messier

Age Hockey Sports

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Subject: Sports (Page 12)

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

Could he run? Are you kidding? He had more moves than Mayflower Van Lines.

That is because I don't have one.

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

They write more books.

To say a good defensive center is more important than a high-scoring forward is like saying that the intestinal tract is more vital than the circulatory system.

… another dropped out when diarrhea slowed him to the point of elimination.

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

Ernie Irvan could go bear hunting with a switch. He ain't never afraid.

I can do my sport no greater service.

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.