Subject: Sports (Page 120)

My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.

professional hockey player
Divorce Hockey Marriage Misspokements Sports

When a fielder gets the pitcher in trouble, the pitcher has to pitch himself out of the slump he isn’t in.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

This year we plan to run and shoot. Next season we hope to run and score.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Big balls count.

Australian runner
Sports

They say you're not a coach in the league till you've been fired. I must be getting pretty good.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

I've always felt we weren't physical enough on the back line. Now there's a no-parking sign in front of our net.

hockey general manager
Hockey Sports

Don King is one of the great humanitarians of our time. He has risen above that great term, prejudice. He has screwed everybody he has ever been around. Hog, dog, or frog, it don't matter to Don. If you got a quarter, he wants the first 26 cents.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Insults Sports

I don't know, I've never hit myself.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

The problem with being Comeback Player of the Year is it means you have to go somewhere before you can come back.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I’m glad you’re doing this story on us and not on the WNBA; we’re so much prettier than all the other women in sports.

professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

To finish first, you must first finish.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Basketball players get the girls, hockey players take them home.

Hockey Sports

One time, I got pulled over at four a.m.; I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Driving Sports

I guess it's why you never say never. The only thing you can never do is ski through a revolving door.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

That’s the fastest time ever run – but it’s not as fast as the world record.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Knuckleball: A curveball that doesn't give a damn.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Baseball Sports

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Sports