Subject: Sports (Page 121)

Howard Cosell would rather shave a wild lion with a dull razor than fight me. 

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The Republic-of-China – back in the Olympic Games for the first time.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

golf writer
Golf Sports

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball; unfortunately, neither of them work.

professional baseball coach
Baseball Sports

It sure didn't make me the million dollars people said it would, but it sure made my ex-wife happy.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

My head looks like ET gone wrong.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

After I took the Olympic job, my wife said to me, ‘You love hockey more than you love me.’ I told her, ‘Yes, dear, but I love you more than hunting and fishing.’

American hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang.

Canadian hockey goaltender, politician, lawyer, businessman & author
Hockey Sports

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago…

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

American professional tennis player
Sports

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

horse racing trainer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Aww, don't worry Doc, if that happens, I can always come back as a forward!

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

Show me a good loser, and Ill show you a loser.

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

Give each guy on the line an ax.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Three things can happen when you put a [foot]ball in the air – and two of them are bad.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Football Sports

I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

professional football general manager
Football Misspokements Sports

I’m undisputed. There's no disputing that.

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities People Sports