Subject: Sports (Page 122)

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Boxing writers are the only people out there who have less constructive jobs than what I do; I don't do nothing but hit people, and those mothers don't do nothing but write about what I do!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I know it's said that I can't punch, but you should see me putting the cat out at night.

boxer
Boxing Sports

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Golf Music Sports

I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

Baseball, it is said, is only a game… true… and the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Baseball Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Emotions Fear Sports

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

You guys lineup, alphabetically by height.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

That puck would have gone in the net if not for the goalie.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a test because I was ready to quit football.

American football player
Activities Drugs Football Sports

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

Unstoppable, Baby!

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

I'm glad we don't have to play in the shade.

professional golfer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Sports

And the first five places are filled by five different cars.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Baseball Sports

You have to give Pete credit for what he's accomplished; he never went to college and the only book he ever read was The Pete Rose Story.

Ex-wife of Pete Rose
Baseball Sports Success

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports