Subject: Sports (Page 122)

Grandmother or tails, sir?

Sports

Terry Downes' face looked as if he had slept on it.

English broadcaster, journalist & author
Appearance Boxing Sports

Gretzky knows it time to retire now — he's finally slow enough to get hit by Luke Richardson.

American sportswriter
Hockey Sports

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and be dumb enough to think it’s important.

(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Football Government Politics Sports

Now that Im retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.

American football player
Football Sports

We’ll just have to see if they can keep this Cinderella slipper alive.

Basketball Misspokements Sports

The L.A. Lakers are so good they could run a fast break with a medicine ball.

Basketball Sports

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

horse racing trainer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Everything Tyson's got has 'goodnight' written on it.

American boxing referee
Boxing Sports

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

There is one word in baseball that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The way to stop Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is to get real close to him and breathe on his goggles.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

I don’t want to die in the middle of the football season; I have to know who’s No. 1 in the last polls.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Death Football Sports

Howard Cosell is nobody’s fool. He’s everybody’s fool.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

I just think in order to be called a sport both teams need to know there’s a game going on.

(1975 – ) American comedian
Sports

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports