Subject: Sports (Page 123)

I think the world is run by C students.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Basketball Intelligence Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

If everything were going good for him, he'd be having success.

American hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

My girlfriend boos when we make love because she knows it turns me on.

Puerto Rican boxer
Boxing Sports

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Clothing Golf Sports

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

golf journalist
Golf Marriage Sports

The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.

College football coach
Football Sports

I went to church the other day to pray for our pitchers… but there wasn't enough candles.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.

comedian
Activities Sports

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

It opens a spacious firmament to the bewildered eyes, wherein you discover more planets in a second than most distinguished astronomers observe in a lifetime.

Boxing writer
Boxing Sports

I told her they must be all sold out.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Reporter: Will you be rooting for the American League or National League in the All Star Game?

Dole: Probably.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports