Subject: Sports (Page 123)

Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

Golf Situations Sports

To say a good defensive center is more important than a high-scoring forward is like saying that the intestinal tract is more vital than the circulatory system.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I’m throwing as hard as I ever did, but the ball is just not getting there as fast.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports Success

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Grandmother or tails, sir?

Sports

Tell you what, you keep the salary and I'll keep me the cut.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Contrary to the old wives' tale that bloody-minded trainers put around, a little love-in before the main event can do you more good than a rub-down with The Sporting Life.

English boxer
Boxing Sex Sports

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Hockey Sports

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Yogi-isms

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Emotions Fear Sports

If Mike Tyson gets any better, he’ll be hitting Lou Rawls while he sings the National Anthem.

American television personality
Boxing Sports

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

playwright, performer, musician, screenwriter & humorist
Football Sports

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green.

Golf Sports

I want to be like Maxwell House coffee – good to the last drop.

professional baseball player
Basketball Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

It’s sort of like a beauty contest; it’s very easy to pick the top one, two, or three girls, but then the rest of them look the same.

professional football scout
Football Sports

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

The Gullikson twins here; an interesting pair… both from Wisconsin.

Tennis commentator
Sports