Subject: Sports (Page 13)

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations Sports

He’s not going to adhere himself to the fans.

English football player & manager
Malaprops Sports

A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we’re going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets.

baseball broadcaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

Finnish hockey player
Hockey Sports

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn't come in until half-past five.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Activities Sports

It will be like lying in a bath with your feet on the taps, but not as comfortable.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.

professional football player
Football Sports

I don’t like dogs… keep getting mustard on my catcher’s mitt.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Gold Medal Specialists. Sprints! Relays! Marathons! Hot and Raring to Go.

Sex Signs Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Golf Music Sports

Our system of forechecking is to shoot the puck and leave it there.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

It’s almost like we have ESPN.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

I play sports…no I don’t… what the f**k?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Self Sports

Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

They said I was such a great prospect that they were sending me to a winter league to sharpen up.; when I stepped off the plane, I was in Greenland.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

Hmm, 600 games? What does it mean? It means I’m that much closer to getting fired.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports