Subject: Sports (Page 13)

One time, I got pulled over at four a.m.; I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Driving Sports

They are a either a pain in the backside or too drunk to perform.

Amsterdam prostitutes’ spokeswoman
Sex Sports

My teeth weren't that good to begin with, so hopefully I can get some better ones.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I have an amazing ability to forget.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Intelligence Memory Sports

My golf is improving… yesterday I hit the ball in one!

Golf Sports

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football Girls People Sports

It’s marvelous. You win the championship of the world and the first thing they say to you is ‘Piss off!’

Scottish boxer
Boxing Sports

Personally, I’ve always looks upon cricket as organized loafing.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Sports

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Canadian hockey player
Body Hockey Sports

The champion, Jess Willard, had about as much chance in this fight as a dish-faced chimpanzee in a beauty contest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Boxing Sports

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One player was lost because he broke his nose; how do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

All I had to do is keep turning left!

auto racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.

American football player
Football Money Poverty Sports

Larry Lintz steals second standing up… he slid, but he didn’t have to.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm going down so often these days you'd think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

Schumacher has made his final stop three times.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It's like Christmas, except it's warmer.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

If I'm having brain surgery, I'll be darned if I want that surgeon playing for a tie.

American college football coach
Football Sports

I've been knocked down more than any heavyweight champion in history, but I consider that a compliment, because I must have got up more than any heavyweight champion.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports