Subject: Sports (Page 14)

You can't expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters

Headlines Sports

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Jimmy Hill: Don’t sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?

Venables: I think it’s fifty-fifty.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

They wanted me to play third like Brooks (Robinson) so I did play like Brooks — Mel Brooks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

There are four different cars filling the first four places.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her.  I said: You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

Mansell handles corners better than Maradona.

Auto racing Signs Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

Next week we'll be looking at the Tour de France, all those bicycles roaring through the countryside.

Misspokements Sports

For over 20 years the Boston Celtics have stood for something. The only thing they stand for now is the [national] anthem.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

I try to play golf at least once a day.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Golf Sports

The Rangers…

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

We need just two players to be a contender – just Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I’m undisputed. There's no disputing that.

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports