Subject: Sports (Page 14)

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Body Sports

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

American football player
Football Sports

Penn State had less firepower than Sweden did in World War II.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.

Baseball Basketball Football Hockey Sports

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Golf Sports

Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.

Golf Misspokements Sports

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes; now how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Self Sports

I don't mind starting the season with a bunch of unknowns. I just don't like finishing a season with a bunch of them.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

I thought I would have a quiet pint … and about 17 noisy ones.

British rugby player
Beer Food/Drink Sports

That puck would have gone in the net if not for the goalie.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I’m not sure whether I’d rather be managing or testing bulletproof vests.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Sports

I quit coaching because of illness and fatigue; the fans were sick and tired of me.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I didn’t see [Christy] Mathewson, but Oquendo said he had a good slider.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Misspokements Sports

The fans like to see Balde wear his "shirt on his sleeve."

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual, too.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Misspokements Sports

It’s basically the same, just darker.

stock car racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports