Subject: Sports (Page 14)

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

I guess it's why you never say never. The only thing you can never do is ski through a revolving door.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

We don’t pray after a game… that’s too late.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

He can do it the hard way, get beat up for 12 rounds and end up in the hospital. Or, he can do it the easy way, get hit on the chin and go to sleep.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

Let's go out there and win one for the quipper.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

golf writer
Golf Sports

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Age Football Old Sports

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over sixty feet of peanut brittle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg.

Scottish television commentator
Sports

Some people have a chip on their shoulder; Billy has a whole lumberyard.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Characteristics Sports

That puck would have gone in the net if not for the goalie.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

An hour after the game, you want to go out and play them again.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports Things

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports