Subject: Sports (Page 16)

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Sports

That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Remember the rules to dodgeball? … If you're fat or have glasses, don’t show up because you’ll die.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sports

They said it would last two rounds; they were half right, it lasted four.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.

American sportswriter, author & commentator
Sports

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator
Malaprops Sports

Sure, luck means a lot in football; not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

(1930 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, we all know that, how long a dozen bats would last me?… depending on the weight and the model that I was using at that particular time I would say eight to ten cookouts.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Activities Baseball Sports

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Golf Sports

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Beliefs Hockey Opinion Sports

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

American professional tennis player
Sports

You're a liar. There ain't no “Hotel Episode” in Detroit!

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

I'm all in favor of it.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

They do a lot of talking, but I'm not sure they actually understand each other.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

No one's gonna give a damn in July if you lost a game in March.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I can't tell who's leading… it's either Oxford or Cambridge.

British news commentator
Misspokements Sports

People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant; I came down with hepatitis… the trainer injected me with it.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Activities Baseball Health Sports