Subject: Sports (Page 18)

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Characteristics Fear Golf Sports

I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.

professional baseball player & manager
Alcohol Baseball Sports

I wouldn't say God couldn't have got out of it, but he'd have had to throw it.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

When Sandy Koufax retired.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

He shortened my career having to chase him around the ice all the time.

Canadian ice hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

A sense of humor and a good bullpen.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes; now how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Take his body apart and see what's in it.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Put an ordinary driver in an Indy-type race car and he'd probably crash before he got out of the pit area.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

Being a White Sox fan meant measuring victory in terms of defeat. A 6-5 defeat was a good day. A big rally was Wally Moses doubling down the right-field line.


Baseball Sports

I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy… so is my wife.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

The L.A. Lakers are so good they could run a fast break with a medicine ball.

Basketball Sports

If the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried and a gumdrop would fall in his mouth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

One thing I've learned over the years is sometimes if you make kicks early in the game, you don't have to make them late.

American football kicker
Football Sports

I’ve never seen a guy on the DL [Disabled List] with pulled fat.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

If you keep your opposition on their ass, they don’t score goals.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports