Subject: Sports (Page 19)

Sean Avery is liked about as much as a rattlesnake at a picnic.

Hockey Sports

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

(1946 – ) English broadcaster
Football Sports

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

If a contest had 97 prizes, the 98th would be a trip to Green Bay.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Body Intelligence Sports

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

One percent of ballplayers are leaders of men. The other ninety-nine percent are followers of women.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Now that Im retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.

American football player
Football Sports

If anyone wants me tell them I'm being embalmed.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I didn’t drop my gloves. They were yanked off me.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

The safest place would be in the fairway.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Golf Sports

Reggie Jackson wouldn’t get into the batter’s box until he knew we were back from commercial; of course, [Bob] Uecker wanted to hit during the commercial.

sports announcer
Baseball Sports

There are only two seasons – winter and baseball.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.

(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Autos Situations Sports

That puck would have gone in the net if not for the goalie.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

History must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the first time.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
History Sports Time

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

A football team is like a piano; you need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.


Sports

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television