Subject: Sports (Page 19)

I'd drink more.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

My sport is about 90 percent strength and 40 per cent technique.

Wrist-wrestling champion
Misspokements Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes, but how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

[I employ] two offenses: the GMA, or "general milling around," and the Daylight Offense, as in "The first guy who sees daylight after he crosses mid-court shoots."

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I always insist that my team be in bed before breakfast.

English cricketer
Sports

[The ball] came out like a dead mouse from a cornfield.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We work in the toy department.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Communication Reading/Writing Sports

Owner of the A's, Charlie Finley: I noticed when you went out to the mound, you had grass stains on the seat of your pants. That's not a good example to set for your players.

Bauer calmly replied: Those weren't grass stains, Charlie… that was mistletoe.

(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

After all the years of punishment you've taken, you must be thinking about giving up pantomime.

(1952 – ) British barrister, comedy writer, and radio & television presenter
Boxing Sports

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

They say that nobody is perfect… then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.

professional basketball player
Basketball Sports

Since my kids were born, I put on a shield. I wanted to keep on seeing them.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

My goal is to deny yours.

Hockey Sports

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.

Hockey Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Golf Sports

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives; but I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

Chappell just stood on his feet and smashed it to the boundary.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports