Subject: Sports (Page 21)

Maggots Tackle Raiders

Headlines Sports

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

British boxer
Boxing Intelligence Misspokements Sports Thinking

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

They're like two bulldogs eating lunch off a Brillo pad!

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The rest of the field.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

He doesn’t cook well.

American professional tennis player
Sports

Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout and they were already in street clothes.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

professional baseball player
Baseball Golf Sports

In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.

(1908 – 2004) British/American journalist, television personality & broadcaster
Golf Sports

They're selling video cassettes of the Ali-Spinks re-match for $89.95. Hell, for that money Leon will come to your house.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports

Nobody remembers the guy who finished second but the guy who finished second.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

He could hit .300 with a fountain pen.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

They write more books.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

Call them pros, call them mercenaries – but in fact they are just grown-up kids who have learned on the frozen creek or flooded corner lot that hockey is the greatest thrill of all.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports