Subject: Sports (Page 21)

They were absolutely horrible and that’s the best thing I can say. Besides that they were bad.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Gerry Cooney can't fight to keep warm.

Boxing press agent
Boxing Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Passin’ Earnhardt is like trying to take a bone out of a Pit Bull’s mouth.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Insults Misspokements Sports

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Situations Sports

There is one word in baseball that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Only if it's held in a phone booth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Whoever came up with ice fishing must have had the worst marriage on the planet.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Sports

Being thick isn’t an affliction if you’re a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he’s brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife – lovingly, with caresses.

English football player & manager
Sports

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

Sports

I'm okay. Russian machine never breaks.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.

Venezuelan baseball player
Baseball Sports

My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

It is a catch he would have held 99 times out of one thousand.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

The bell went ding and I went dong.

British boxer
Boxing

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports