Subject: Sports (Page 22)

We can't win at home and we can't win on the road. My problem as general manager is I can't think of another place to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive

No one hit home runs the way Babe (Ruth) did… they were something special… they were like homing pigeons; the ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

The Queen's Park Oval -– as its name suggests, absolutely round!

cricket commentator

We used to pray the White Sox and the Cubs would merge so Chicago would have only one bad team.

American comedian

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

basketball coach

Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

The quarterback’s spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Sometimes you think they must have come out of the chimp cages at the Bronx zoo.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach

To finish first, you must first finish.

American auto racer

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

This is not even close to what I envisioned a no-hitter would be.

American baseball pitcher

Boxing is just show business with blood.

English boxer

Wally Dallenbach's like a kite without a tail out there.

American auto racer

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager

That picture was taken out of context.

professional baseball player