Subject: Sports (Page 22)

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

playwright, performer, musician, screenwriter & humorist
Football Sports

Hey, you're a white guy, do something about this!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Rugby League is war without the frills.

Conflict Sports

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Basketball Sports

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sports

You've got to think lucky; if you fall into a mud hole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Situations Sports

He's as old as some trees.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Age Hockey Old Sports

It must be the body. It’s chiseled out of marshmallows.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

He (Sandy Koufax) throws a 'radio ball,' a pitch you hear, but you don't see.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly

Basketball Headlines Sports

Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Reggie Jackson wouldn’t get into the batter’s box until he knew we were back from commercial; of course, [Bob] Uecker wanted to hit during the commercial.

sports announcer
Baseball Sports

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

It is better to give a lick than receive one.

American football player
Football Sports

Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage in a three-piece porkchop suit.

professional football player
Football Sports

The Rock didn't know too much about the boxing book, but it wasn't a book he hit me with. It was a whole library of bone crushers.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports