Subject: Sports (Page 24)

My word, look at that magnificent erection.

British horse racing commentator
Sports

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sandy’s fastball was so fast, some batters would start to swing as he was on his way to the mound.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I'm actually getting to sleep before I have breakfast.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The amount of wind will vary inversely with the number and experience of the people you take on board.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.

American sports executive
Activities Basketball Sports

I’m the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball People Self Sports

They’re really keen on the strawberry flavored ones.

Australian basketball player
Sports

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

Early in the year, after a bad game, I said to my kids in the car, this is my last year and the next day I was getting phone calls from the school about whether I was retiring.  And that was in October.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner
Hockey Sports

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He’s not going to adhere himself to the fans.

English football player & manager
Malaprops Sports

We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

A lot of horses get distracted; it’s just human nature.

Horse trainer
Misspokements Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports