Subject: Sports (Page 24)

All the records were gone. So I figured here's one record I can get.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I know it's said that I can't punch, but you should see me putting the cat out at night.

boxer
Boxing Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

Big balls count.

Australian runner
Sports

The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.

American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Wally Dallenbach's like a kite without a tail out there.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

You can always get someone to do your thinking for you.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I’ll probably take a little time off and go hide somewhere. We will be back. Maybe not this century, but we will be back.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

Tito Fuentes is safe at second with a triple.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Relationships Sports Women

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Concentration-wise, we’re having trouble crossing the line mentally from a toughness standpoint.

American football coach
Misspokements Sports

He's the only guy I know who can go 4 for 3.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

You can put that in one word… world class darts!

British sports commentator
Sports

With ten [laps]to go, I didn't have a code of ethics.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports