Subject: Sports (Page 25)

If you act like you know what you’re doing, you can do anything you want… except neurosurgery.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit.

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Baseball Situations Sports

Tommy Smith wasn’t born, he was quarried.

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

Fernando Valenzuela is the pitcher whose name sounds like a mailing address in the Lower Andes.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

The safest place would be in the fairway.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Golf Sports

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Money Sports

Some people think football is a matter of life and death… I can assure them it is much more serious than that.

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.

American sports executive
Activities Basketball Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Fights Marriage Relationships Sports Wives

He's the kind of player who usually comes along rarely and sometimes never.

(1927 – ) American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Here’s Hodge on the breakaway! He’s all by himself. He shoots. And Hodge missed the goal! He’ll be thinking about that one for a while! Just look at the expression on Hodge’s stick!

Hockey Misspokements Sports

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

(Bruce) Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I'll go another 15 rounds with Holmes if Howard will quit announcing football!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports