Subject: Sports (Page 26)

I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities Eating Food/Drink Sports

I lost it by default, not de-punch.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

There are two things that won’t last long in this world – dogs that chase cars and pros that putt for pars.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.

Croatian professional tennis player
Sports

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

It's kind of hard to rally around a math class.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Football Sports

Now there’s three things you can do in a baseball game; you can win or you can lose or it can rain.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

I used to play sports, then I realized you can buy trophies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sports

We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.

Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey Sports

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football Sports

I have nothing to say, and I’ll only say it once.

Hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When you win, say nothing; when you lose, say less.

professional football coach
Communication Speech Sports

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Fat Hockey

As a coach, you must remember that when you're on your way in, you're on your way out.

Canadian hockey coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

I’ll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin’ is pickin’ up yer teeth with a boxin’ glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports