Subject: Sports (Page 26)

The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realize that your wife left you in May.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Sports

Notre Dame is the only team in the country that never plays a road game.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

This year we plan to run and shoot. Next season we hope to run and score.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

My DNA is cheeseburgers.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Baroness Summerskill: Mr Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?
Cooper: Well, madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?

English boxing champion
Appearance Boxing Insults Sports

In basketball, the first person to touch the ball shoots it. Either that or the coach carefully diagrams a set play and then the first player to touch it shoots it.

owner of the Seattle SuperSonics
Basketball Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

Some teams are fair haired, we're not – some teams are the Smiths, we're the Grabowskis.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

When I told my wife UConn would win the Big East tournament, she wanted to know why a team from Alaska got into the Big East tournament.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

Playing goal is like being shot at.

professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

Any minute now we will have the East German pole vault over the satellite.

British sports commentator
Sports

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

It's going to be nice to be embarrassed in practice instead of games.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Football Sports

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Basketball Sports