Subject: Sports (Page 27)

Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.

American sportswriter, author & commentator
Sports

Walk him and face the next guy.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying, ‘I don't want to bore you with the details.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
Sports

I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

David Boon is now completely clean-shaven, except for his moustache.

Australian cricketer
Misspokements Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

He (Lyndon Johnson) wanted to see poverty, so he came to see my team (1964 New York Mets).

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Misspokements Poverty Sports

I went through a stage of feeling awful to one of feeling terrible. Once I started to feel terrible I was OK.

English distance runner
Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

I don’t have any tricky plays, I’d rather have tricky players.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

It is necessary to relax your muscles when you can; relaxing your brain is fatal.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Sports

A re-match with Eubank is not in my plans. I'm not interested in him because he's got nothing I want… except a Harley-Davidson motorbike.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

Arrive at the net with the puck and in ill humor.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

One rule I had was make your best pitch and back up third base; that relay might get away and you’ve got another shot at him.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

And as Mansell comes into the pits, he’s quite literally sweating his eyeballs out.

Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports