Subject: Sports (Page 27)

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years… or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Basketball Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

Welcome to Worcester where we have just seen Barry Richards hit one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground.

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

Everybody wants a piece of the cake, but my cake has no slices.

Swedish boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

What’s everyone blaming me for? … Blame Felix; I wouldn’t have hit into the double-plays if he hadn’t hit singles.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I throw the ball as hard as ever, but it just takes longer to get to the plate.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, ‘uh-oh.'

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

A fellow has to have faith in God above and Rollie Fingers in the bullpen.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.

Cricket commentator
Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sports

No one hit home runs the way Babe (Ruth) did… they were something special… they were like homing pigeons; the ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I used to pray to the Lord every night to make me a hockey player. Of course, I forgot to mention the NHL so I spent 16 years in the minors.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator
Hockey Sports

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Emotions Fear Sports

If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.

boxing writer & sports historian
Auto racing Money Sports

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports