Subject: Sports (Page 28)

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

Before Don King started insulting me I was a complete unknown in this country. Now people stop me and ask for my autograph.

British boxing manager
Boxing Sports

Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing Sports

Fans never fall asleep at our games because they're afraid they might get hit with a pass.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

His face is sagging with tension.

English sports commentator
Appearance Misspokements Sports

And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

The (orange) uniforms were already picked out by the time I got here. I didn't give it too much thought until I saw our buses and I said, `My God, we're dressed just like that bus.'

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

I just tape four Tylenols to it.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you are going to have a fight with a visiting club, be sure to insult them the day they come to town, and not the last day of the series. It pays off better.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

On his 916th game as coach at University of Alabama – I've been here so long that when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports Time

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

Games Murphy’s Laws Sports

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

I wish I could remember everything I told him.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

I’m no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs, and 4,200 hits.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

All women tennis players should go on their knees in thankfulness to Suzanne Lenglen for delivering them from the tyranny of corsets.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Clothing Sports

Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy… so is my wife.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports