Subject: Sports (Page 29)

Trying to hit him is like trying to eat Jell-O® with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg.

Scottish television commentator
Sports

There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

Son, nobody is half as good as Mickey Mantle.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

That’s cricket, Harry, you get these sort of things in boxing.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Boxing Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

It’s a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.

professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.

Golf Sports

Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.

Football Sports

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator
Malaprops Sports

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone

Hockey Sports

Man's got courage. Man's got guts. And I don't think he'll be with us very long.

professional football & TV commentator
Football Sports

If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?

American football player
Football Sports

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Sex Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Here’s Hodge on the breakaway! He’s all by himself. He shoots. And Hodge missed the goal! He’ll be thinking about that one for a while! Just look at the expression on Hodge’s stick!

Hockey Misspokements Sports

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports