Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 29)
Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.
Lee Trevino
(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Caddies
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
Jimmy Demaret
(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf
Sex
Sports
Get used to this phrase: “How could both referees have missed that?”
Mike Brophy
Canadian sports writer & analyst
Hockey
Sports
On the new 2-referee experiment in 1998
We can’t win at home… we can’t win on the road; as general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.
Pat Williams
(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball
Misspokements
Sports
On his team's 7-27 record
Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Rugby League is war without the frills.
Unknown
Conflict
Sports
Rugby
Every time I look up, it seems we're punting.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
On the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ early games
The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.
Mike Cameron
American baseball player
Baseball
Science/Weather
Sports
Time
Sun
Nigel Mansell is the only man who goes to Nick Faldo for charisma lessons.
Nick Hancock
English actor & television personality
Auto racing
Insults
Sports
Charisma
Of British auto racer Nigel Mansell
I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right.
Marlon Starling
American professional boxer
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? … In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.
Mike Ditka
(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football
Sports
Sportswriters
Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.
Ron Luciano
(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball
Sports
Minor leagues
Umpires
We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
On playing a game with only a small number of players
Enos Cabell started here with the Astros… and before that he was with the Orioles.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics
Golf
Sports
He’s shown a lack of
inconsistency.
An English soccer player
Malaprops
Sports
Consistency
Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren't many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.
Bill Lee
American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
The bum was up and down so many times I thought he was an Otis elevator.
Harry Kabakoff
boxing trainer & manager
Boxing
Sports
On Chango Cruz
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
Tommy Bolt
(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.
Sid Waddell
English sports commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Darts
If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.
Mario Andretti
(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Autos
Situations
Sports
Control
Racing
Page 29 of 125
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