Subject: Sports (Page 29)

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

We haven't had the rub of the dice.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

Knuckleball: A curveball that doesn't give a damn.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Baseball Sports

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

You can't expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

They wanted me to play third like Brooks (Robinson) so I did play like Brooks — Mel Brooks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I’m hoping for a bench clearing brawl during the warm up so I can go out and grab his stick.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Golf Sports

To finish first, you must first finish.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

I never make predictions and I never will.

English football player
Misspokements Sports

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Entertainment Football Television

There are two things you can do with your head down– play golf and pray.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.

American football player & coach
Football Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The only man I've ever known who could strut sitting down.

(1860 – 1931) American baseball writer & humorist
Baseball Sports

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports