Subject: Sports (Page 30)

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.

Food/Drink Sports

I never did say that you can’t be a nice guy and win; I said that if I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Life Sports

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

skier
Misspokements Sports

Our offense is like the Pythagorean theorem: There is no answer!

American basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

I understand, Moe, that you are in counter-intelligence, which, I assume, means you are against intelligence.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Intelligence Sports

The decathlon is nine Mickey Mouse events and the 1500 metres.

English distance runner
Sports

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

That puck would have gone in the net if not for the goalie.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.

British motorcycle road racer
Misspokements Sports

Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football.

college football coach
Football Sports

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports

That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over sixty feet of peanut brittle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

If you’re not going to score goals, at least make people hate you.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year; they don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.00.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

Once a pitcher loses his fastball, he has to go to the garbage.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

They say they have picked Justin Fortune because he's the same height as Mike Tyson… so is my wife.

English boxing manager & promoter
Boxing Sports