Subject: Sports (Page 30)

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

I’ve got a face made for radio.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Appearance Baseball Sports

You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat… I might be failing as a father.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Family Fathers Sports

You’ll never make a footballer while ever your arse points to the ground.

English football player & manager
Sports

He had eyes in his ears.

American basketball announcer
Basketball Sports

Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

Hitting the ball is the fun part of it, but the fewer times you hit the ball the more fun you have.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Death Sports

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Enos Cabell started here with the Astros… and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

They say that nobody is perfect… then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.

professional basketball player
Basketball Sports

We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, were just not a very good football team right now.

American football coach
Football Sports

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
America Baseball Places Sports

I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Basketball Sports

No, I had 999 times to get ready for it.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Now it comes to a simple equation – who can stand the heat.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The front wheel crosses the finish line, closely followed by the back wheel.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Walk him and face the next guy.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports