Subject: Sports (Page 31)

They let you chase girls, they just don’t let you catch them.

Brigham Young University football player
Football Sports

The fat lady might have cleared her throat, but she hasn't sung yet.

Texas Tech football coach
Football Sports

What do you have when you've got an agent buried up to his neck in sand? … Not enough sand.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

Buster Douglas went to bed as a 231-pound world champion and woke up as a 270-pound parade float.

American sports columnist
Appearance Body Boxing Fat Sports

I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as ‘winter.’

American writer
Sports

And he’s got the icepack on his groin there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury.

English rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Sports

George McGinnis has got the body of a Greek god and the running ability of a Greek goddess.

American sportscaster
Basketball Sports

George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

How would you know, Sean? When I was playing you were in your 3rd year of 8th grade?

Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey Sports

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We estimate, and this isn’t an estimation, that Greta Waltz is 80 seconds behind.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Hockey Sports Ugly

I want to be like Maxwell House coffee – good to the last drop.

professional baseball player
Basketball Sports

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

It’s got lots of installation.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Activities Animals Sports

Passin’ Earnhardt is like trying to take a bone out of a Pit Bull’s mouth.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

It is committee meetings, called huddles, separated by outburst of violence.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Football Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don't know what kind of test they can give him; he's delirious half the time anyway.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports