Subject: Sports (Page 31)

Let the other guy have whatever he wants before the fight. Once the bell rings he's gonna be disappointed anyway.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed.

British boxing champion
Boxing Sports

[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Language Sports

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.

professional football player
Football Sports

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Sports

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The last time I saw anything like this I was playing for Tastee Freeze in the Little League.

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Forty years after his heyday, an old opponent met Willie on the street and asked: "Do you recognize me?"
Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying: "Lie down so I can recognize you."

1922 – 2006) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Football

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Age Golf Old Sports

You have really solidified the Mets' centerfield problem.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

A rematch with Mike Tyson is as attractive as Sam Fox and Maria Whittaker put together.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Sports