Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 31)
Let the other guy have whatever he wants before the fight. Once the bell rings he's gonna be disappointed anyway.
George Foreman
(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing
Sports
Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed.
Tommy Farr
British boxing champion
Boxing
Sports
Joe Louis
[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.
'Beano' Cook
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football
Language
Sports
Punts
I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.
Big Daddy (Eugene) Lipscomb
professional football player
Football
Sports
Tackling
They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay
Abe Lemons
(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Sports
Coaching
Salary
The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.
Bill Lee
American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
New York Yankees
We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.
Bruce Lansky
(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf
Sports
Suffering
I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.
Andy Van Slyke
baseball player
Baseball
Sports
After a game in which he struck out three times
Hitting
There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.
Rick Tocchet
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Sports
Penalties
Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.
Red Auerbach
American basketball coach
Basketball
Sports
The last time I saw anything like this I was playing for Tastee Freeze in the Little League.
Dave Smith
professional baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
On being behind by 14 runs in the first inning
Forty years after his heyday, an old opponent met Willie on the street and asked: "Do you recognize me?"
Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying: "Lie down so I can recognize you."
Willie Pep
1922 – 2006) American boxing champion
Boxing
Sports
Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Football
After 12 NFL teams were told they had permission to sell Super Bowl Tickets after the end of the regular season
By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.
Lewis Grizzard Jr.
(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Age
Golf
Old
Sports
You have really solidified the Mets' centerfield problem.
Ralph Kiner
(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
During an interview with outfielder Daryl Boston
A rematch with Mike Tyson is as attractive as Sam Fox and Maria Whittaker put together.
Frank Bruno
English boxer
Boxing
Sports
Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.
Murray Mexted
New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Rugby
In baseball, you don’t know nothing.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Sports
Yogi-isms
Knowledge
Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!
Dizzy Dean
professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
On umpire William McKinley
Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.
David Feherty
(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Sports
On Rory McIlroy’s wrist injury
Page 31 of 125
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