Subject: Sports (Page 32)

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I'm just glad it wasn't machete night.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Entertainment Football Television

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Auto racing Sports

Without losers, where would the winners be?

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Sports

Slumps are like a soft bed; they're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I broke in with four hits and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb… it took me only a few days to correct that impression.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball People Self Sports

Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Before the first Tyson fight, Frank Bruno figures to be the biggest British disaster since the Titanic. Las Vegas will bet you even money Bruno doesn't last the first round. He's 7-1 to lose, 6-1 to get knocked out, he's probably 7-5 to get killed.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

A good ball club.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Old place-kickers never die, they just go on missing the point.

professional football kicker (once seen wearing a watch during a game)
Football Sports

Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

When I get done with 'Sweet Pea,' he'll be 'Split Pea.'

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Those are the only balls you've touched all day!

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

Johnny Carson gently suggested to Cobb that Larry Holmes seemed to be always a step ahead of him

Cobb replied: Did it seem that way to you too?

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Irish journalist & author
Golf Sports

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Marriage Sports

I’m going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.

professional football coach
Football Misspokements Sports