Subject: Sports (Page 32)

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors.

college football player
Football Misspokements Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.

(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch  Survivor or search the internet for porn.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Sports

Play some Picasso.

professional basketball player
Misspokements Sports

Everybody wants a piece of the cake, but my cake has no slices.

Swedish boxing champion
Boxing Sports

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

Let’s face it, sports writers, we’re not hanging around with brain surgeons.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Intelligence People Sports

Detroit fans don't know anything about baseball. They couldn't tell the difference between baseball players and Japanese aviators.

American baseball player, manager & scout
Baseball Sports

The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.

College football coach
Football Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter
Auto racing Insults Sports

Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Sure the fight was fixed. I fixed it with a right hand.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The music sounds better, the wine tastes sweeter and the girls look better when we win.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

If they cut my bald head open, they will find one big boxing glove. That's all I am.

American boxing champion
Boxing Self Sports

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports