Subject: Sports (Page 33)

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist
Football Sports

The pads don't keep you from getting hurt. They just keep you from getting killed.

American football player
Football Sports

You know what they say about big hitters… the woods are full of them.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

I’ll probably take a little time off and go hide somewhere. We will be back. Maybe not this century, but we will be back.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

When I told my wife UConn would win the Big East tournament, she wanted to know why a team from Alaska got into the Big East tournament.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to blow the whole day.

American football player
Football Marriage Sports

They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions.

Scottish jockey
Sports

Jake LaMotta and I fought six times. We almost got married.

(1921 – 1989) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.

(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.

College football coach
Football Sports

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Cold Football Science/Weather Sports

I don't mind the title fight going out at three in the morning. Everyone in Glasgow fights at three in the morning.

Boxing Sports

Tee your ball high… the air offers less resistance than dirt.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?

American boxing promoter
Boxing Misspokements Places Sports

If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

Auto racing began five minutes after the second car was built.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Auto racing Sports

They say a tie is like kissing your sister; I guess that is better than kissing your brother.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports