Subject: Sports (Page 33)

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Conflict Hockey Sports

Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Basketball Sports

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

They write more books.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Larry Holmes didn't beat me — he just won the first 15 rounds.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Entertainment Music Sports

I'm okay. Russian machine never breaks.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If England lose now, they will be leaving the field with their heads between their legs!

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

I'll decide when to write my own obituary.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

(1946 – ) English broadcaster
Football Sports

Those trees seem to grow every year…

British professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game and if that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

I was really enjoying my ride and just thinking how beautiful it was here and the next minute I was picking gravel out of my head.

Australian equestrian rider
Sports

When your are playing for the national championship, it’s not a matter of life or death… it’s more important than that.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Sports

Bill Walton is incredible; if you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.

American basketball coach
Basketball Health Sports

I miss the things like the camaraderie in the gym; I don’t miss being smacked in the mouth every day.

Irish professional boxer
Boxing Sports

Ingemar Johansson is a leviathan with a strangler's hands and a smile like the beam of a lighthouse.

Boxing Sports

The Orlando Magic were so bad last season, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in their cheers.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone

Hockey Sports