Subject: Sports (Page 34)

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?

American football player
Football Sports

I got hit in the head pretty hard. My clock ran backwards for two years.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

The question looming over Magri, is not will he keep the title, but can he?

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The shoulder surgery was a success; the lobotomy failed.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Could he run? Are you kidding? He had more moves than Mayflower Van Lines.

Tennessee football player
Football Sports

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

You don’t have enough smarts to straighten this out. This is unstraightable.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Intelligence Misspokements Sports

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports

If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same.

professional football player
Football Sports

He's usually a good puller – but he couldn't get it up that time.

Australian cricketer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Family Football Mothers Sports

I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I'm glad it happened in front of the library. I've always emphasized scholarship.

Kansas State football oach
Football Sports

I only have one goal in each stick.

Czech ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

Around a clubhouse they'll tell you even God has to practice his putting. In fact, even Nicklaus does.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Misspokements Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

So what if they're taller? We'll play big.

college basketball coach
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports