Subject: Sports (Page 34)

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat… I might be failing as a father.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Family Fathers Sports

What’s everyone blaming me for? … Blame Felix; I wouldn’t have hit into the double-plays if he hadn’t hit singles.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

golf journalist
Golf Marriage Sports

He brings something special. I don’t know what it is, but if you ask him, you couldn’t understand his answer.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner
Hockey Sports

“Hell, Lou, it took fifteen years to get you out of a game; sometimes I’m out in fifteen minutes.”

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Beer Food/Drink Football Sports

I know my players don't like my practices, but that's OK, because I don't like their games.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

If you don't have outstanding relief pitching, you might as well piss on the fire and call the dogs.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The only thing that matters is what happens on the little hump out in the middle of the field.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

We’re not afraid of challenges. It’s like we always say: if you want to go out in the rain, be prepared to get burned.

Mixed metaphors Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

Opening games make me nervous; to tell the truth, I’d rather open with our second game.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Ed, you're the second best umpire in the league… the other twenty-three are tied for first.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.

professional football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

They said it would last two rounds; they were half right, it lasted four.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes.

professional hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Eric Show will be oh-for-ten if that pop fly comes down.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports