Subject: Sports (Page 35)

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

Defensively the Red Sox are a lot like Stonehenge. They are old, they don't move, and no one is certain why they are positioned the way they are.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

(Leo) Durocher claims he was sacked forty times (by Larry MacPhail) in his five years as Dodger manager, but I was there and I can verify only twenty-seven.

American baseball executive
Baseball Sports

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I know I've got a lock on the Dutch Hall of Fame.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports

Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed.

British boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I want little conversation and lots of hair on the floor.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Football Sports

I never knew anybody who said they liked doubleheaders except Ernie Banks, and I think he was lying.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

Jenson Button is in the top ten… in eleventh position.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Hey, some places this would be a foul!

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Being thick isn’t an affliction if you’re a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he’s brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife – lovingly, with caresses.

English football player & manager
Sports

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

Coach Red Auerbach makes mistakes, the entire Boston Celtics team makes mistakes, but they can get away with it because they have the world's largest eraser in center Bill Russell.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I just tape four Tylenols to it.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

Frank Bruno's fall was that of a felled oak. As the dust settled there was a silence, and then followed the gentle rustle of falling leaves of greenbacks.

(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing Sports

A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating.

Basketball Sports

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

If the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried and a gumdrop would fall in his mouth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports