Subject: Sports (Page 35)

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

American professional tennis player
Marriage Sports

He’s shown a lack of inconsistency.

Malaprops Sports

Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it; then you hit it again.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat; that costs money and we don't have any.

Georgia Southern football coach
Football Sports

When he gets mad, it's like he's in another world. He'll look at you with those big eyes and they'll be going around in circles.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

A road runner taking you through every ditch, every irrigation canal, barbed wire fence and cattle guard.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

They both (statistics & bikinis) show a lot, but not everything.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Golf Sports

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer
Golf Sports

While letting Plano East roll up 365 yards of offense, North Garland only prevented a bigger route [sic] by pouncing on the six turnovers.

newspaper reporter
Football Misspokements Sports

Baseball and malaria keep coming back.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.

Venezuelan baseball player
Baseball Sports

My first priority is to finish above rather than beneath the ground.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Education Learning Sports

Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The way defenses are operating these days, the other team starts picking you up when you walk out of the hotel lobby.

American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports