Subject: Sports (Page 35)

Baseball players are smarter than [American] football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the pitch?

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Football Sports

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

We've got to learn to stay out of triple plays.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

When you the man who beat the man who was the man… well, then you ‘The Man.’

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

Fairway: A narrow strip of closely mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Ever since he’s been a little boo-aw.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

author
Golf Sports

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

Pedroza – the crown on his head hanging by a thread.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

My God, kids today think that the laces are for tying up the gloves.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Money Sports

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.

(1926 – ) professional bowler
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

He had the ability of taking a bad situation and making it immediately worse.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Sports

90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

Most of my clichés aren’t original.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

When Charlie Finley had his heart operation it took eight hours…. seven just to find his heart.

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Insults Sports

There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than everybody else: build a fire, run a motel and manage a baseball team.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports