Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 35)
Even my players aren't players.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
On playing a game with only a small number of players
Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.
Steve Ryder
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
Covering the U.S. Masters
The niblick, with its heavy head of iron, is a capital club for knocking down solicitors.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
Golf clubs
Niblick
When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.
Dave Taylor
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Sports
After teammate Marcel Dionne received death threats if he scored two goals in a game
Hollywood made a movie of my life; the film had me proposing to my wife on the football field… I would never misuse a football field that way.
Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch
American football player
Football
Hollywood
Places
Sports
Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
Ron Atkinson
English former football player & manager
Misspokements
Sports
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.
Bruce Lansky
(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication
Golf
Speech
Sports
Swearing
That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.
Fred Trueman
English cricketer
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
A tie is like kissing your sister.
‘Duffy’ Daugherty
(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Sports
Scores
Sisters
Ties
If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf
Sports
You feel guilty telling the batters to go out there and get a hit. They look at you funny, as is if to say, 'you try it.‘
Earl Weaver
(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball
Sports
On pitcher Goose Gossage
Boxing is built on bums. How else are you gonna know good from bad? How else is a good boy gonna get on top and get experience unless he fights bums? I tell ya, there's a shortage of bums.
Al Braverman
Boxing manager & promoter
Boxing
Sports
Bums
Opponents
Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.
Jimmy Cannon
(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing
Sports
Rocky Marciano
You don't hit with your face.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Appearance
Baseball
Yogi-isms
His response when someone told him he wasn't handsome
There is someone warming up in the Giants’ bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Why should I smile? They’d be throwing things at me if I lost.
Lester Piggott
English jockey
Sports
After winning a race
Horse racing
Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.
Murray’s Rule of Hockey
Hockey
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Never think of your car as a cold machine, but as a hot-blooded horse.
Juan Manuel Fangio
Argentinian auto racer
Auto racing
Autos
Sports
Things
Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.
Earl Weaver
(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball
Sports
Coaches
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"
‘Lefty’ Gomez
(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball
Intelligence
Sports
Thinking
Pitching
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