Subject: Sports (Page 36)

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Health Sports

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player… but they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

Golf is a better game played downhill.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer
Boxing Insults Places Sports

They christened their game ‘golf’ because they were Scottish and reveled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Golf Places Sports

We didn't lose many games, and we never lost a party.

American football player
Football Sports

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Self Sports

Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast.

Football Sports

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame – Southern Methodist University game and doesn’t care who wins.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Football Sports

This players getting taller thing is getting out of hand. What we need to do is sink the baskets into the floor at each end of the court and recruit midgets.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Andujar Cedeno to lead it off; he swings… and he is hit by a pitch… and it is hit over the wall and out of here for a home run.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I think they just got through marinating the greens.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

It just as easily could have gone the other way.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Urban should know. Almost 30 of his players have been arrested over the years, so he apparently knows a bad guy when he sees one.

sports reporter
Football Sports

You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

Nassau Coliseum general manager
Hockey Sports