Subject: Sports (Page 37)

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

I just told him to drop the &%^# puck. I didn’t suggest his mother had swum after troop ships or anything.


Sports

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Body Intelligence Sports

Third base is certainly a reactionary position.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Slovak hockey player
Hockey Sports

Dracula and LSU football are at their best after the sun goes down.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

Boxing writers are the only people out there who have less constructive jobs than what I do; I don't do nothing but hit people, and those mothers don't do nothing but write about what I do!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

He has a strike zone the size of Hitler’s heart.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

Any guy who would pass up a chance to see Sam Snead play golf would pull the shades driving past the Taj Mahal.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.


Football Intelligence Sports

We're looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

Toronto Maple Leafs owner
Hockey Sports

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I don’t live in the fast lane – I live on the off ramp.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Life Sports

As a runner Daley Thompson is excellent, as a jumper he is excellent, and as a thrower he is an excellent runner and jumper.

British journalist, author, commentator & coach
Misspokements Sports