Subject: Sports (Page 37)

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Sports

When Sandy Koufax retired.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs.  You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them.  Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve.  No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

American baseball player
Baseball History Science/Weather Sports

I usually call the new guy and let him know where I like to sit on the bus, tell him ways he can stay out of my way, make sure he knows not to touch any of my stuff.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Situations Sports

We get no respect. Everybody we play on the road has made us their homecoming game.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Sports

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Activities Football Government Money Sports

The batsman’s is Holding, the bowler’s Willey.

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.

American football player
Football Money Poverty Sports

I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Entertainment Music Sports

Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, ‘uh-oh.'

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Rookie Wilson was candidate for Mookie of the Year.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
Activities Golf People Sports

His face is sagging with tension.

English sports commentator
Appearance Misspokements Sports

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Slovak hockey player
Hockey Sports