Subject: Sports (Page 38)

If you take your eye off Gretzky, he'll bank it off your skate, your back, your helmet or your wife. I could hang a nickel in the net and he'd hit it every time.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It was about three-to-one that I was not an SOB.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

He’s throwing grounders.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

American basketball coach
Basketball Football Sports

I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles; eighty percent of the people don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having trouble.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball People Problems Sports

We'll be back with the recrap after this message.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I’m glad I don’t play anymore; I could never learn all of those handshakes.

professional baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

American football player
Football Sports

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

At the start of the seventh round of a match with Jack Thompson, Sam Langford extended his glove, which was the usual ritual done before the final round of a boxing match.
A puzzled Thompson said: This ain't the last round, Sam.
Langford replied: It is for you.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

He shortened my career having to chase him around the ice all the time.

Canadian ice hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

If I was earning £1 a race, I'd still be a racing driver – just a poor one.

British auto racer
Auto racing Money Sports

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Billy Loes was the only player in the majors who could lose a ground ball in the sun.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

When the camera focuses on a male athlete he will spit, pick or scratch.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

It's like an octopus falling out of a tree.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports