Subject: Sports (Page 39)

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.

Golf Sports

It was like skating inside a pop can.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Baseball's a very simple game. All you have to do is sit on your butt, spit tobacco, and nod at the stupid things your manager says.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Characteristics Sports

The earth in LA moved more in one hour than Benoit Benjamin did all last season with the Clippers.

American sports columnist & analyst
Basketball Sports

Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Kerry, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve made far worse calls than that.

hockey broadcaster
Hockey Sports

They both (statistics & bikinis) show a lot, but not everything.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

You want a messenger boy, call Western Union.

American football player
Football Sports

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

Finnish hockey player
Hockey Sports

Tommy Smith wasn’t born, he was quarried.

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

We have a great bunch of outside shooters; unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The first thing I would do when I saw Bobby [Orr] coming down at me was to say a little prayer if I had time.  I’m sure I wasn’t the only goalie who did that.

Canadian professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

We know he is a one-dimensional player, but it’s the dimension we don’t have.

Canadian sports broadcaster
Hockey Sports

He can’t decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Activities Auto racing Misspokements Sports

My foot said go before my brain did.

top fuel drag racer
Auto racing Sports