Subject: Sports (Page 4)

We know he is a one-dimensional player, but it’s the dimension we don’t have.

Canadian sports broadcaster
Hockey Sports

A football team is like a piano; you need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.


Sports

Earnie hit me so hard, it shook my kinfolk back in Africa.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey
Appearance Eating Sports

You'll pardon me gentlemen if I make the fight short. I have a train to catch.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

It takes brains; it's not like forward, where you can get away with scoring and not play defense… on defense you have to be thinking.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.

American football player
Football Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Joe Bugner: Get me Jesus Christ and I'll fight him tomorrow!
Mcllvanney: Joe, you're only saying that because you know he's got bad hands.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Boxing Sports

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player… but they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Frank Leahy was here [Notre Dame] for three years and went to war; I think sometimes that would be a welcome relief to get away from the pressures.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire
Baseball People Sports Women

A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Everything was fine until I slid left and ran out of talent!

the 'father of drag racing'
Auto racing Sports

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports