Subject: Sports (Page 40)

Every time I look up, it seems we're punting.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Grass is for cows.

Czech tennis player
Sports

Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough?

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

My three best punches were the choke hold, the rabbit punch and the head butt.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

George McGinnis has got the body of a Greek god and the running ability of a Greek goddess.

American sportscaster
Basketball Sports

I played golf with a priest the other day. He shot par-par-par-par-par. Finally I said to him, "Father, if you're playing golf like this you haven't been saving many souls lately.”

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs; he (Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

He is the best left fielder the Cardinals have, the best center fielder they have, the best first baseman they have. He is, in short, the best ball club in St. Louis and one of the best in the world.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Kenyan runner
Sports

I grabbed it and squeezed it back into place. It gave a little crunch and popped right in.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We're right next to Mile High Stadium. I'm no rocket scientist, but… uh… [smile]

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I’ve never seen a guy on the DL [Disabled List] with pulled fat.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Yes, and so is everyone else in the league.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Baseball Sports

If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.

Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I’m not fat.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports World

Being named manager of the Seattle Mariners is like becoming the head chef at MacDonalds.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

You draw Xs and Os on a blackboard and that's not so difficult… I can even do it with my left hand.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports