Subject: Sports (Page 41)

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When the last great scorer comes to mark against your name, it’s not whether you won or lost, but how many paid to see the game.

baseball executive
Money Sports

Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Sports

What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? … In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

Normally in Chicago, you always have some kind of weather.

Football Misspokements Science/Weather Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

Ten thousand bucks if ya knock him outta the game. I don't care if ya hit him with a whiskey bottle when he gets off the bus.

American football player
Football Sports

It does not take a rocket scientist to coach a professional football team, but, of course, I was one of the few who happened to be a rocket scientist.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Intelligence People Self Sports

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Pedroza – the crown on his head hanging by a thread.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

First year, a .500 season – second year, a conference championship – third year, undefeated – fourth year, a national championship – and in the fifth year, we’ll be on probation, of course.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Football Sports Success

It is necessary to relax your muscles when you can; relaxing your brain is fatal.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Sports

Sometimes you think they must have come out of the chimp cages at the Bronx zoo.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Hockey Sports

(Willie) McCovey swings and misses, and it’s fouled back.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

American billiards champion & hustler
Activities Sports