Subject: Sports (Page 42)

What a town. They boo Willie Mays and cheer Khrushchev.

New York writer
Places Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

When you lose your hands, you can’t play baseball.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sex Sports

Show me a good loser, and Ill show you a loser.

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we’re going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets.

baseball broadcaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Not everyone likes sports… Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Sports

For those of us who are baseball fans and agnostics, the [Baseball] Hall of Fame is as close to a religious experience as we may ever get.

American author
Baseball Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports

I believe in higher education… you know, 6'8", 6'9", 6'10."

Basketball Sports

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Hockey Sports

We're looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If you screw things up in tennis, it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

American basketball player
Misspokements Sports

War is hell, but expansion is worse.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports