Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 43)
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Sports
Skiers
Snowboarders
Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.
Peter Dobereiner
golf writer
Golf
Sports
Putting
I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.
Shaquille O'Neal
American basketball player
Misspokements
Sports
On if he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
No matter how strong the breeze when you leave the dock, once you have reached the furthest point from port the wind will die.
Deal's Second Law of Sailing
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Sailing
Wind
… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.
Red Grange
American football player & coach
Football
Sports
The three things I fear most in golf are lightening, Ben Hogan, and a downhill putt.
Sam Snead
(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Ben Hogan
I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.
Artie Lange Jr.
(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities
Eating
Food/Drink
Sports
Swimming
American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Sue Lawley
(1946 – ) English broadcaster
Football
Sports
Rugby
Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.
Reggie Jackson
professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
On Tom Seaver
Pitching
That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.
David Feherty
(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf
Sports
A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.
Andy Van Slyke
baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Fans
Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.
David Thompson
professional basketball player
Basketball
Misspokements
Sports
Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.
Jim Murray
(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations
Sports
Coaches
Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game in ’81
Headline
Headlines
Sports
We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.
Keith Jones
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Sports
On he and Craig Berube being ‘untouchables’
It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Sports
Yogi-isms
We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.
Jim Calhoun
Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball
Sports
On an NCAA investigation into alleged recruiting violations
Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!
Dizzy Dean
professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
On umpire William McKinley
He now floats like an anchor, stings like a moth.
Unknown
Boxing
Sports
On Muhammad Ali still fighting at the age of 39
He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.
David Feherty
(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf
Sports
After a good witnessing a deft shot
Page 43 of 125
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