Subject: Sports (Page 43)

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer

I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

American basketball player

No matter how strong the breeze when you leave the dock, once you have reached the furthest point from port the wind will die.

… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.

American football player & coach

The three things I fear most in golf are lightening, Ben Hogan, and a downhill putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

(1946 – ) English broadcaster

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

professional baseball player

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.

baseball player

Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.

professional basketball player

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game in ’81

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!

professional baseball player

He now floats like an anchor, stings like a moth.

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator