Subject: Sports (Page 45)

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Whore – Amazing Happen NBA

Signs Sports Translations

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Activities Animals Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Sports

I miss the things like the camaraderie in the gym; I don’t miss being smacked in the mouth every day.

Irish professional boxer
Boxing Sports

They will pass the father-son tandem of Buddy Bell and Yogi Berra.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements

The shoulder surgery was a success; the lobotomy failed.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

American football player
Football Sports

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Most of his home runs were hit on artificial turf.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

There’s someone warming up in the bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

Then I was skinnier, I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better… other than that, everything is the same.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

I'm glad it happened in front of the library. I've always emphasized scholarship.

Kansas State football oach
Football Sports

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Enos Cabell started here with the Astros… and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports