Subject: Sports (Page 45)

Always remember one thing: From the time the game starts until it ends, you and I are the only sane men on the ice.

professional ice hockey referee
Hockey Sports

The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Sports

I believe in rules… sure I do; if there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Sports

When they operated, I told them to put in a Koufax fastball. They did, but it was Mrs. Koufax's.

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Kerry, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve made far worse calls than that.

hockey broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Stewart has two cars in the top five: Magnusson 5th and Barichello 6th.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Since my kids were born, I put on a shield. I wanted to keep on seeing them.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

While letting Plano East roll up 365 yards of offense, North Garland only prevented a bigger route [sic] by pouncing on the six turnovers.

newspaper reporter
Football Misspokements Sports

‘Deuce’ is used so you don't have to count so high.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

Johnny Carson gently suggested to Cobb that Larry Holmes seemed to be always a step ahead of him

Cobb replied: Did it seem that way to you too?

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Everybody wants a piece of the cake, but my cake has no slices.

Swedish boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as close a man has ever come to perfection.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

They shouldn’t throw at me; I’m the father of five or six kids.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.

American basketball player
Basketball Health Sports

Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. 

Canadian hockey player & sports reporter
Hockey Sports

Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

60 per cent of all the Aussies think Joe Bugner is something you find up the Queensland Premier's nose.

Sports