Subject: Sports (Page 45)

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

professional hockey referee
Hockey Sports

There were times I felt like leaving the stadium and hitchhiking home.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf Government Politics President Sports

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

The shoulder surgery was a success; the lobotomy failed.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Kickers are like horse manure. They're all over the place.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

There is no halftime for cheerleaders!

Activities Sports

Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog.

British auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing Sports

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play softball on the weekends.

American stand-up comedian
Relationships Situations Sports

Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If I fought Evander [Holyfield] with a baseball bat, I would win the fight… but it would be by decision.

Boxing Sports

I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Nutrition makes me puke.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

You usually wind up staying up all night, or until your best player comes in.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Body Intelligence Sports

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Baseball Sports

You can’t think and hit the ball at the same time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports