Subject: Sports (Page 46)

I'll decide when to write my own obituary.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

I set records that will never be equaled; in fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Sports

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? … he went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing Intelligence Sports

I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Nice guys finish last.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

It’s a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.

American baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame – Southern Methodist University game and doesn’t care who wins.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Football Sports

Hating the Yankees isn’t part of my “act,” it is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports

Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States and radio broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Baseball President

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.

English sports commentator
Mixed metaphors Sports

Anyone who studied McCall's contribution to the fight would not have been surprised that he failed to hit a sample tube with the required amount afterwards. Bruno, of course, had no such trouble. He is well used to having the piss taken out of him by his fellow countrymen.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

They’re really keen on the strawberry flavored ones.

Australian basketball player
Sports

How can you call a foul on my man for using his eye to foul the other team’s player on his elbow?

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg.

English boxing champion
Boxing Sports

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports