Subject: Sports (Page 48)

Ghosts Take Derby

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Headlines Sports

I think they bring me luck… I guess I'll have to like seafood now.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs they’ve had a bad day.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Sooner or later, the lame, the halt, and the blind all seek refuge with us.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Health Sports

The Houston Astros are the youngest team in the National League if you judge by age.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Age Baseball Misspokements Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

It’s sort of like a beauty contest; it’s very easy to pick the top one, two, or three girls, but then the rest of them look the same.

professional football scout
Football Sports

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Everything was fine until I slid left and ran out of talent!

the 'father of drag racing'
Auto racing Sports

There are two things that won’t last long in this world – dogs that chase cars and pros that putt for pars.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If I knew the answer to that I'd bet $10,000 on the game and retire from coaching.

Montreal Canadiens coach
Hockey Sports

Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Sure, luck means a lot in football; not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

(1930 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Sometimes you think they must have come out of the chimp cages at the Bronx zoo.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Hockey Sports

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

I’m rich; what am I supposed to do, hide it?

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Punt returns will kill you quicker than a minnow can swim a dipper.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Frank Bruno says I'm chicken. Well you can tell him I've come home to roost.

American boxer
Boxing Sports