Subject: Sports (Page 48)

The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

Fans never fall asleep at our games because they're afraid they might get hit with a pass.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I’m not dropping a bar of soap in the shower near [kicker] Garo Yepremian.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

Don't worry, the fans don't start booing until July.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

They had us with the walls to our back.

professional baseball player & manage
Misspokements Sports

That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes.

professional hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

After I took the Olympic job, my wife said to me, ‘You love hockey more than you love me.’ I told her, ‘Yes, dear, but I love you more than hunting and fishing.’

American hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

We got to practice a little bit. I want these guys to be bouncing around like a pogo stick on Viagra.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

I’m a golfer – not an athlete.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.

English police officer, writer, stand-up comedian & radio performer
Activities Sports

He opened his legs and showed us what he’s got.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position… he’s in last place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
Activities Golf People Sports

I quit coaching because of illness and fatigue; the fans were sick and tired of me.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports