Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports (Page 48)

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

John Conteh

English boxer

A Mexican won the Boston Marathon two years ago; he wasn’t even in the race; he was just running down the street.

Lenny Clarke

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

Sports Boston Marathon Mexicans

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Animals Sports Disgusting Fishing

I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.

Jimmy Connors

American professional tennis player

Sports Behavior Tennis

Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed.

Tommy Farr

British boxing champion

Boxing Sports Joe Louis

Things were so bad in Chicago last summer, that by the fifth inning the White Sox were selling hot dogs to go.

Ken Brett

American baseball player

Baseball Sports Chicago White Sox

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Gerry Cheevers

Canadian hockey goalie & coach

Fights Hockey Sports

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports Stroke-Of-Luck

The kid looks good in his first game.

Gordie Howe

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player

Hockey Sports At age 51 – after 41-year-old Bobby Hull made his 1979 debut with the Hartford Whalers

Play him, fine him, and play him again.

Gene Mauch

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Baseball Sports On difficult Dick Allen

There are younger Aztec ruins.

Bill Conlin

sportswriter & newspaper columnist

Age Baseball Old Sports On pitcher Vicente Romo

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

Michael Green

(1927 – ) British journalist & author

Golf Sports Shots

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

Howie Long

American football player & commentator

Football Sports Terry Bradshaw

If Stan (Bowles) could pass a betting shop like he can pass a ball he’d have no trouble at all.

Ernie Tagg

British football manager

Sports Betting Soccer

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

Charles Barkley

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Basketball Sports After retiring

I’m going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.

Mike McCormack

professional football coach

Football Misspokements Sports After the team's co-captain pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

Stormont Mancroft

British politician

People Sports Time Cricket Eternity Morant was courtmartialed and executed by the British – charged with killing Boer prisoners.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

Rod Kanehl

American baseball player

Baseball Life Sports

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

Johnny Carson

(1925 – 2005) television host

Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports Champagne On the California Angels’ advantage of never having won the World Series

I can only see it going one way, that’s my way. How it’s actually going to go I can't really say.

Nick Wilshire