Subject: Sports (Page 49)

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

Send ‘im’ down a piano, see if ‘e can play that!

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

I’m going to Radio Shack to buy one of those headsets like the broadcasters use… it seems as soon as you put them on, you get 100 times smarter.

American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Listen, ump… how can you sleep with the lights on?

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

One thing I've learned over the years is sometimes if you make kicks early in the game, you don't have to make them late.

American football kicker
Football Sports

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

So what if they're taller? We'll play big.

college basketball coach
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

A fishing rod is a stick with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Fools Sports

There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

college football coach
Football Sports

I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Self Sports

My first priority is to finish above rather than beneath the ground.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Golfing: The art of using a flawed stance, a faulty grip, and an ugly swing to hit a small ball badly toward the wrong hole.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Sports

Can I bite him?

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports