Subject: Sports (Page 49)

In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan; of course, he would have been only 12 years old.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Marriage Sports

The lead is now 6.9 seconds… in fact, it’s just under 7 seconds.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It's almost like we have ESPN.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

We can't win at home and we can't win on the road. My problem as general manager is I can't think of another place to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

Consistently, he’s not able to do that all the time.

Football Misspokements Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

It gets late out there early.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

They are a either a pain in the backside or too drunk to perform.

Amsterdam prostitutes’ spokeswoman
Sex Sports

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Beliefs Football Sports

We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player
Fights Hockey Sports

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The only problem I really have in the outfield is with fly balls.

(1960 – ) Puerto Rican professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I've made the national anthem a six-point underdog.

American sports commentator & oddsmaker
Boxing Sports

Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Sports

They say losing builds character. I have all the character I need.

American football coach
Football Sports

The pads don't keep you from getting hurt. They just keep you from getting killed.

American football player
Football Sports

A road runner taking you through every ditch, every irrigation canal, barbed wire fence and cattle guard.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

We have a great bunch of outside shooters; unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports