Subject: Sports (Page 5)

A silver medal gets you as many free beers as a gold medal does.

Australian Olympic shooter
Sports

My girlfriend boos when we make love because she knows it turns me on.

Puerto Rican boxer
Boxing Sports

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

football coach
Football Sports

That is because I don't have one.

American football player
Football Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

It's like someone jammed an electric light bulb in your face, and busted it. I thought half my head was blowed off… When he knocked me down I could have stayed there for three weeks.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

What a town. They boo Willie Mays and cheer Khrushchev.

New York writer
Places Sports

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Come on Sandy, baby, loosen up, you’re too tight.

American football player
Football Sports

We have deep depth.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

I get worried when a guy goes down, in case he doesn't get up – for me to hit him again.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

That gal's all skull and no brains. She's like Joe Frazier with lipstick.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Golf Sports

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Money Places Sports

I challenge anyone, even with a radar machine, to hit that slider.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as ‘winter.’

American writer
Sports