Subject: Sports (Page 5)

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Golf is a better game played downhill.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

The only way that Miami will beat Florida St. is if they outscore them.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

Yes, golf can be taught – it’s just that it can’t be learned.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Golf Sports

If a coach starts listening to the fans, he ends up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

My three best punches were the choke hold, the rabbit punch and the head butt.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Occupations Sports Work

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

I'm going to have minor brain surgery.

American auto racer
Auto racing Health Sports

We'll be back with the recrap after this message.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game in ’81

Headlines Sports

Young Tight Ends Excite Coaches

Football Headlines Sports

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports

Retire to what?… I'm a golfer and a fisherman; there's nothing to retire to.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I’ll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin’ is pickin’ up yer teeth with a boxin’ glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I used to pray to the Lord every night to make me a hockey player. Of course, I forgot to mention the NHL so I spent 16 years in the minors.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator
Hockey Sports

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Hockey Sports

We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs; he (Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports