Subject: Sports (Page 50)

Mike Tyson's not all that bad. If you dig deep … dig real deep, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, deep, deep, go all the way to China … I'm sure, you'll find there's a nice guy in there.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

There are certain things you can't get back, like the elastic in your socks.

boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

Let’s face it, sports writers, we’re not hanging around with brain surgeons.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Intelligence People Sports

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Baseball Sports

Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Statistics and records are baseball talk; they keep records like most times sliding into second base on a Tuesday.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Baseball Football Sports

I’ve been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak; the good part is that they don’t make posters of those guys.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

While letting Plano East roll up 365 yards of offense, North Garland only prevented a bigger route [sic] by pouncing on the six turnovers.

newspaper reporter
Football Misspokements Sports

The rest of the field.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The Americans sowed the seed, and now they have reaped the whirlwind.

English athlete & politician
Misspokements Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

After Buster Douglas knocked out Tyson – He's just like Humpty Dumpty. They're not going to be able to put Tyson back together again.

Boxing Sports

That is because I don't have one.

American football player
Football Sports

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Body Sports

Don King doesn't care about black or white. He just cares about green.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant; I came down with hepatitis… the trainer injected me with it.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Activities Baseball Health Sports

There is no secret to running – run hard, have a beer, have a pizza. We make it too complicated.

New Zealand runner
Sports