Subject: Sports (Page 51)

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football Sports

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Boxing Sports

You don't have to be a Harvard professor to manage baseball; in fact, I think you're better off having an IQ like mine.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg.

English boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

When Sandy Koufax retired.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

How would you know, Sean? When I was playing you were in your 3rd year of 8th grade?

Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey Sports

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Sports

When I looked at the third base coach for a sign, he turned his back on me.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too.

1972 – ) American soccer player
Sports Women

It does not take a rocket scientist to coach a professional football team, but, of course, I was one of the few who happened to be a rocket scientist.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Intelligence People Self Sports

All gong and no dinner… we just wish Anna would finally win something aside from hearts.

Sports

We need three kinds of pitching: left handed, right handed, and relief.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Marriage Sports

The company should change its name to Mike.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

professional hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

We’re trying to accomplish in five games what in previous years it took 162 games to do.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

We had a very scientific system of bringing in relief pitchers. We used the first one who answered the phone.

American baseball pitcher & pitching coach
Baseball Sports