Subject: Sports (Page 52)

There are certain things you can't get back, like the elastic in your socks.

boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

Well, there goes our 26-game hitting streak.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasn't changed.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports Things

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Activities Football Government Money Sports

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

I managed good but, boy, did they play bad.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

Don Quixote would understand golf. It is the impossible dream.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Misspokements Sports

No fighter comes into the ring hoping to win – he goes in hoping to win.

English boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It's like an octopus falling out of a tree.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If my quarterback runs, I'll shoot him.

American football coach
Football Sports

I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

He treats us like men; he lets us wear earrings.

college football player
Football Misspokements Sports

Managing a baseball team is like trying to make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We have a great bunch of outside shooters; unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Money Sports

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports