Subject: Sports (Page 53)

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports

I don’t think we’re the oldest battery, but we’re certainly the ugliest.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

Golf giveth and golf taketh away, but it taketh away a hell of a lot more than it giveth.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sandy’s fastball was so fast, some batters would start to swing as he was on his way to the mound.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

A manager's job is simple. For one hundred sixty-two games you try not to screw up all that smart stuff your organization did last December.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.

professional football player
Appearance Body Football Health Sports

Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing Sports

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The quarterback’s spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Situations Sports

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball People Sports

It’s got lots of installation.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Need to tie some kerosene rags around his ankles so the ants don’t eat his candy ass.

American auto racer
Auto racing Insults Sports

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Fights Marriage Relationships Sports Wives

I told my team it doesn't matter… there are 750 million people in China who don't even know this game was played. The next day, a guy called me from China and asked, 'What happened, Coach?

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

There is no secret to running – run hard, have a beer, have a pizza. We make it too complicated.

New Zealand runner
Sports

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I looked up in the stands and I thought I saw my wife and kids booing.

American basketball Coach
Basketball Sports

It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports