Subject: Sports (Page 54)

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

Sports

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

If England lose now, they will be leaving the field with their heads between their legs!

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.

American sportswriter, author & commentator
Sports

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Conflict Football Sports War

If you play well and win you’re a heck of a leader; you don't win your an okay leader, and if you don't play well and you don't win your a lousy leader.

Canadian hockey player & executive
Hockey Sports

A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees.

Golf Sports

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

Fernando Valenzuela is the pitcher whose name sounds like a mailing address in the Lower Andes.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

You run for 45 minutes, you train for an hour and a half, and the rest of the time you just hang out and talk tough.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I don’t know… I’ve never smoked it.

(1943 – ) American football player
Activities Sports

I'd take five [former player] Milt Schmidts, put my grandmother in the nets and we'd beat any team.

Former NHL referee
Hockey Sports

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

A football team is like a piano; you need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.


Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports

It tastes like any other sport drink.

Japanese marathoner
Misspokements Sports

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Sports

He could hit .300 with a fountain pen.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports