Subject: Sports (Page 54)

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

I think he knows all my tricks. Or the fact I don't have any tricks.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Sports

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.

Golf Sports

It will be like lying in a bath with your feet on the taps, but not as comfortable.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing Sports

You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Because there are no fours.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Sports

That was a maximization of a minimization of hits.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

It's not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports Wordplay

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field… no, wait a minute… it’s ball one… low and outside.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Football

I'd love to fight Gerry Cooney. But I have my price – 25 cents and a loose woman.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Hockey Sports

Tommy (Lasorda) will eat anything, as long as you pay for it.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Eating Food/Drink Sports

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Golf Music Sports

I just told him to drop the &%^# puck. I didn’t suggest his mother had swum after troop ships or anything.


Sports