Subject: Sports (Page 54)

I've never scored a hat-trick before… not even playing against my sister in the yard at home.

Australian rugby player
Sports

It's going to be good to be on his side for a change. I'll save a lot of energy since I don't have to concentrate on whacking him. I'm pretty excited about that.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Let the other guy have whatever he wants before the fight. Once the bell rings he's gonna be disappointed anyway.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports

In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes…Mark Spitz, in all fairness, would swim with a sea anchor…[and] Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Life Places Sports World

There are certain things you can't get back, like the elastic in your socks.

boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Mike Caldwell, the Padres’ right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The woods are full of long drivers.

American golf professional & coach
Golf Sports

We’ll just have to see if they can keep this Cinderella slipper alive.

Basketball Misspokements Sports

Gibson's the luckiest pitcher I've ever seen because he always picks the night to pitch when the other team doesn't score any runs.

American baseball player & commentator
Baseball Sports

To win in the slowest possible time.

Australian race car driver
Auto racing Sports

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Gold Medal Specialists. Sprints! Relays! Marathons! Hot and Raring to Go.

Sex Signs Sports

The Houston Astros are the youngest team in the National League if you judge by age.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Age Baseball Misspokements Sports

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this – admittedly it is in slow motion.

Australian cricketer
Misspokements Sports

Distance running to a professional athlete in my day was five laps around the field. And you stopped each lap to take your pulse.

American football player
Football Sports