Subject: Sports (Page 56)

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


Sports Wordplay

Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.

Italian motor racing driver & entrepreneur
Auto racing Sports

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasn't changed.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports Things

He had eyes in his ears.

American basketball announcer
Basketball Sports

Daneyko got mad when Kaminski said he was going to knock his teeth out. Dano only has two teeth left, so you can't say that to Dano.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.


Sports

When I am right, no one remembers. When I am wrong, no one forgets.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters

Headlines Sports

Big balls count.

Australian runner
Sports

Racing is 99 per cent boredom and one per cent terror.

Australian auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match: “It's a fight to the finish” … that's a good place to end.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Boxing Sports

(He) simply lost that sun-blown popup.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Situations Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

There is one word in baseball that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

That is because I don't have one.

American football player
Football Sports

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

We didn't lose many games, and we never lost a party.

American football player
Football Sports