Subject: Sports (Page 57)

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator
Malaprops Sports

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things—flying and heart transplants; everything else, you can go four in five.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Sports

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Sports

The only really unplayable lie I can think of is when you're supposed to be playing golf and come home with lipstick on your collar.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

It just as easily could have gone the other way.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
America Places Sports

[boxing promoter] Bob Arum is one of the worst people in the western hemisphere. I don't know the eastern hemisphere very well, but I suspect he'd be one of the worst people there too, if he went.

boxing manager & trainer
Boxing Insults Sports

A string of good alibis.

professional baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Sports

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this – admittedly it is in slow motion.

Australian cricketer
Misspokements Sports

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.


(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

They said I was such a great prospect that they were sending me to a winter league to sharpen up.; when I stepped off the plane, I was in Greenland.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

I enjoy hitting a batsman more than getting him out. It doesn't worry me in the least to see a batsman hurt, rolling around screaming and blood on the pitch.

Australian crickete
Sports

The series is already won, but I don’t know by which team.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

(1925 – 2001) actor & musician
Activities Golf People Sports

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Beer Food/Drink Football Sports

Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch  Survivor or search the internet for porn.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Sports

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports