Subject: Sports (Page 58)

Grandmother or tails, sir?

Sports

Or the day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It's like my ex-wife… 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.

American football coach
Football Marriage Sports Wives

More than anyone else, he's (Hank Aaron) made me wish I wasn't a manager.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

They're a little bit like money. You don't want to die with them and give them to your kids, so you might as well use them if you need them.

American football coach
Football Sports

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

There seems only one way to beat George Foreman: shell him for three days and then send the infantry in.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Boxing Sports

Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't still with the Yankees. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight.

American baseball player
Baseball Body Fat Sports

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Earnie Shavers could punch you in the neck and break your ankle.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Show me a good loser, and Ill show you a loser.

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

Knuckleball: A curveball that doesn't give a damn.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Baseball Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Problems Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Jack Del Rio and myself are very similar except he's really good looking and was a great player. Other than that we're very similar.

American football coach
Football Sports

It was cool, man, but I’m a little depressed they didn’t have a buffet.

300+ pound American football player
Food/Drink Football Sports

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports