Subject: Sports (Page 59)

Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

For those who know golf, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Slovak hockey player
Hockey Sports

They whipped us like a tied up goat.

Texas Tech football coach
Expressions Football Sports

Say, when do they begin?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Sports

Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organized loafing.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head… no harm done.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'd take five [former player] Milt Schmidts, put my grandmother in the nets and we'd beat any team.

Former NHL referee
Hockey Sports

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place… but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Tee your ball high… the air offers less resistance than dirt.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

I was never nervous when I had the ball, but when I let go I was scared to death.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt? … the one who wins gets a purse… they do it in gloves. It's the accessory connection I love.

American comedian
Boxing Sports

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Sure, luck means a lot in football; not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

(1930 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors.

college football player
Football Misspokements Sports

I’m fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral.

wife of coach Don Shula
Football Sports

I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

(1991 – ) American actor, singer & screenwriter
Sports TV/Movie Quotes

We need three kinds of pitching: left handed, right handed, and relief.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports