Subject: Sports (Page 59)

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Fernando Valenzuela is the pitcher whose name sounds like a mailing address in the Lower Andes.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

This players getting taller thing is getting out of hand. What we need to do is sink the baskets into the floor at each end of the court and recruit midgets.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

You have to bear in mind that Mr. Autry's favorite horse was named Champion. He ain't ever had one called Runner Up.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Entertainment Food/Drink Sports Television

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

My punches are just as hard in Chicago as in New York.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.

American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

George Chuvalo's best punch is a left cheek to the right glove.

American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

I think they just got through marinating the greens.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

A sense of humor and a good bullpen.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The Gullikson twins here; an interesting pair… both from Wisconsin.

Tennis commentator
Sports

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

Driving a race car is like dancing with a chainsaw.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

If we hadn’t given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different.

American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

A hot dog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.

American baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports