Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports (Page 60)

Floyd Patterson is everything a world heavyweight champion should be… except busy.

Rocky Marciano

American boxing champion

My first priority is to finish above rather than beneath the ground.

James Hunt

American auto racer

Auto racing Sports

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports Advice To his caddie

When I played football, we were small, but we were slow. Our record was five and five; we lost five games at home and five on the road.

Clayton Williams

Texas businessman

Football Misspokements Sports Losing

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

Dan Jenkins

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Golf Sports Mulligans

And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

Murray Walker

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports On his team's blocking strategy

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

Pete Sampras

American professional tennis player

Sports On his on-court philosophy Tennis

Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.

Bill Curry

American football coach

Football Sports

The last time I saw anything like this I was playing for Tastee Freeze in the Little League.

Dave Smith

professional baseball pitcher

Baseball Sports On being behind by 14 runs in the first inning

I'm glad it happened in front of the library. I've always emphasized scholarship.

Doug Weaver

Kansas State football oach

Football Sports On being hung in effigy near the library

I want little conversation and lots of hair on the floor.

‘Bum’ Phillips

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach

Football Sports On going to the barber

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

Red Smith

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Baseball Money Sports Greed

Don King is one of the great humanitarians of our time. He has risen above that great term, prejudice. He has screwed everybody he has ever been around. Hog, dog, or frog, it don't matter to Don. If you got a quarter, he wants the first 26 cents.

Randall “Tex” Cobb

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Boxing Insults Sports Don King

He wants Texas back.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports When asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations

That's one of the best sets I've seen him play[Tomas Zib] – although I should preface that by saying I haven't seen him play before

John McEnroe

American professional tennis player

Misspokements Sports Tennis

Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue.

Harry Carpenter

British sports commentator

Boxing Misspokements Sports

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

Abe Lemons

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

Money Sports Coaching When asked how to stop illegal recruiting

I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.

Pete Sampras

American professional tennis player

Sports On watching a cricket match

Michael Owen isn't the tallest of lads, but his height more than makes up for that.

Mark Lawrenson

English football player & announcer

Misspokements Sports

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

Ferdie Pacheco

boxing physician

Boxing Sports On Angelo Dundee agreeing to be George Foreman's cut man

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Subject: Sports (Page 60)

Floyd Patterson is everything a world heavyweight champion should be… except busy.

My first priority is to finish above rather than beneath the ground.

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.

When I played football, we were small, but we were slow. Our record was five and five; we lost five games at home and five on the road.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road.

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.

The last time I saw anything like this I was playing for Tastee Freeze in the Little League.

I'm glad it happened in front of the library. I've always emphasized scholarship.

I want little conversation and lots of hair on the floor.

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

Don King is one of the great humanitarians of our time. He has risen above that great term, prejudice. He has screwed everybody he has ever been around. Hog, dog, or frog, it don't matter to Don. If you got a quarter, he wants the first 26 cents.

He wants Texas back.

That's one of the best sets I've seen him play[Tomas Zib] – although I should preface that by saying I haven't seen him play before

Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue.

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.

Michael Owen isn't the tallest of lads, but his height more than makes up for that.

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.