Subject: Sports (Page 60)

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Body Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

He could hit better with a broken arm than we could with two good arms.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

I don't fight for legacy. I don't fight for none of that, I fight for that check; I'm in the check cashing business.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Giving Magic the basketball is like giving Hitler an army, Jesse James a gang, or Genghis Khan a horse.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter
Auto racing Insults Sports

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Football God Men Sports Women

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm just glad it wasn't machete night.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

No one hit home runs the way Babe (Ruth) did… they were something special… they were like homing pigeons; the ball would leave the bat, pause briefly, suddenly gain its bearings, then take off for the stands.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I got a big charge out of seeing Ted Williams hit. Once in a while they let me try to field some of them, which sort of dimmed my enthusiasm.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

Good pitching always stops good hitting and vice versa.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

American football player & coach
Football

Nice guys finish last.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

I can close any cut in the world in 50 seconds, so long as it ain't a total beheading.

boxing cut-man
Boxing Sports