Subject: Sports (Page 61)

He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

You can throw anything in our house, but we’ll just let it roll off our backs

Activities Hockey Misspokements Sports

Orel Hershiser is the only Major League pitcher to have two consecutive pronouns in his surname.

American essayist
Baseball Sports

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

I'd rather fight than score.

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

For Michigan fans, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game is Easter.

(1948 – 2003) American actor
Football Sports TV/Movie Quotes

What’s one more torpedo in a sinking ship?

American football player
Football Health Sports

Rugby League is war without the frills.

Conflict Sports

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball; unfortunately, neither of them work.

professional baseball coach
Baseball Sports

I’m not a cancer, I’m a Gemini.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

Boxing is just show business with blood.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Whenever they gave him the game ball, he ate it.

American football player
Football Sports

Lady Jacks Off to Hot Start in Conference

Headlines Sports

I'm glad it's him and not some other puke.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arrangement.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Sports

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing Football Sports