Subject: Sports (Page 61)

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Dating Relationships Sports

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Money Sports

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Conflict Hockey Sports

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Sports

Just give me 25 guys on the last year of their contract; I’ll win a pennant every year.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The Queen's Park Oval -– as its name suggests, absolutely round!

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports World

It's going to be good to be on his side for a change. I'll save a lot of energy since I don't have to concentrate on whacking him. I'm pretty excited about that.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don’t mind the high price of stardom, I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Money Sports Success

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

The weak teams are Boston and New York; the strong ones are Toronto, Chicago, Montreal, and Gordie Howe.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

American football player
Football Sports

I knew I was in trouble when I heard snap, crackle, and pop, and I wasn't having a bowl of cereal.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.


Sports

I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit.

American baseball player & commentator
Baseball Sports

It looks like he has a divot over each ear.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports