Subject: Sports (Page 61)

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

There’s no secret. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

skier
Misspokements Sports

I make no apologies for their absence… I’m sorry they’re not here.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

You can't expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I ain't never heard of him. I suppose he's one of them foreign heavyweights; they're all lousy. Sure as hell I'll moida da bum.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

Golf is a game of expletives not deleted.

Sports

After indulging in some heavy, late-night research with scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was sideswiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Football Sports

I’m glad I don’t play anymore; I could never learn all of those handshakes.

professional baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

You can’t think and hit the ball at the same time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Motivation is simple — you eliminate those who are not motivated.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

She’s not [runner] Ben Johnson… but then, who is.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Sports

I wasn't talking to Holmes in there; every time I felt like saying something to him I found it hard because he kept putting his left hand in my mouth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

These two teams are mirror images of themselves.

Misspokements Sports

[I employ] two offenses: the GMA, or "general milling around," and the Daylight Offense, as in "The first guy who sees daylight after he crosses mid-court shoots."

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Sure… I’m proud to be an American.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

I’m rich; what am I supposed to do, hide it?

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Get used to this phrase: “How could both referees have missed that?”

Canadian sports writer & analyst
Hockey Sports

If you bet on a horse, that's gambling. If you bet you can make three spades, that's entertainment. If you bet cotton will go up three points, that's business. See the difference?

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Sports