Subject: Sports (Page 62)

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

The Royal Hong Kong Club caddies hit the nail on the head; their term for golf – "Hittee ball, say damn."

Golf Sports

If I get run into again, I'm taking someone with me. I lost one knee. I'll take a head if it happens again.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Best player ever? … I’d have to go with the immoral Babe Ruth.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Emotions Fear Sports

We were tipping off our plays; whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was as pale as a ghost.

professional football executive
Football Misspokements Sports

My face is my mask.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

I want to be like Maxwell House coffee – good to the last drop.

professional baseball player
Basketball Sports

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher; he said, ‘Dave Wehrmeister’s got 11 letters… is that a big enough name for you?

White Sox owner
Baseball Misspokements

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

He's ranked number three in Britain, number four in the world. You can't get any higher!

English darts player
Misspokements Sports

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

Nassau Coliseum general manager
Hockey Sports

I'm broke and I'm back.

American football player
Football Sports

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year; they don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.00.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

I pitch like my hair’s on fire.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

One time, I got pulled over at four a.m.; I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Driving Sports

Take his body apart and see what's in it.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

professional hockey referee
Hockey Sports